So, why R. Kelly deserves a break today? Because he's the 2000s lesser OJ. Sure, OJ killed a couple people, went on a highly-publicized, lengthy trial (oh! don't forget the infamous chase in the white Bronco that interrupted me watching Family Matters), was found not guilty, and spent his years up until today being the guy who "didn't" (wink wink, nudge, nudge) do it. Now he's been convicted of a far less grisly crime and looks at doing some serious time in the clink.

R. Kelly just boned some teenagers and engaged in some harmless water sports. Ah, and lest we forget, he married Aaliyah when she was FIFTEEN. He had known her since she was TWELVE. Her album they were "working on" was titled Age Ain't Nothing But a Number (and yes, I did own it). The lead single was called "Back and Forth". You see where I'm going here. That's without discussing the other charges of lewd conduct with a minor, child pornography, etc. etc. etc. Basically, the dude is a little fucked up with his wang. He also endured lengthy court battles and came out unscathed when it seemed pretty damn obvious he was guilty.

The point being, R. Kelly is in that middle, eye-of-the-storm period that OJ so lavishly enjoyed for 13 years. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if R. Kelly shopped a book titled If I Did Fuck and Piss on a Fourteen Year Old Girl within the next five years or so.

So R. Kelly, enjoy your break today. Because you're going to fall upon the fate of Orenthal James and do some stupid shit in a few years and THEN you'll have your ass handed to you. Guaranteed there will be a few dudes in prison who would absolutely giggle at the chance to make you their private, singing urinal.

New song 50 Cent, Ja Rule, Nelly ascoltatele e fatemi sapere cosa pensate?

50 Cent - Get Up Prod. by Swizz Beatz

Ja Rule - Like Me

Nelly Feat. R.Kelly - Ucud Gedit (SupaSexyEdit)

guerilla black ft. avery storm - no matter how hard i try

Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places - 1990
M.C. Hammer - U Can't Touch This - 1990
R.E.M. - Losing My Religion - 1991
Bonnie Raitt - Something to Talk About  - 1991
BeBe& CeCe Winans - Addictive Love - 1991
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart - 1992
Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You - 1992
*Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit - 1992 (top song of the decade)
Sheryl Crow - All I Wanna Do - 1994
Boyz II Men/Mariah Carey - One Sweet Day - 1996
Eric Clapton  - Change the World - 1996
Elton John - Candle in the Wind - 1997
R. Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly - 1997
Will Smith - Men in Black - 1997
Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On - 1998
Dixie Chicks - Wide Open Spaces - 1998
Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing) - 1998
Shania Twain - You're Still the One - 1998
Destiny's Child - Bills, Bills, Bills - 1999
Faith Hill - This Kiss - 1999
Tim McGraw - Please Remember Me - 1999
Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca - 1999
Santana/Rob Thomas - Smooth - 1999
TLC - No Scrubs - 1999

Here's the top song of the decade:

Enjoy!

Ja, denne skiva har vært ute en stund. Men vi måper fortsatt.

It's like a jungle atmosphere/And we're two monkeys baby
It's like we're on a vine/The way we're swinging it baby
See, you're a tiger girl/The way you're scratching me
I'm a lion/In this jungle I'm a king
Girl, I got you so wet/It's like a rain forest
Like Jurassic Park/Except I'm your sex-a-saurus baby
You and me hopping/Like two kangaroos
Rattling and moaning/Out here in these woods

OOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-AAA-AAA-AAA-AAA

Nettopp.

Her er sexosaurusen i sitt naturlige miljø:

Besides the absolute retardation of his anwsers, the look on the interviewer's face @ 0:22 when Kells rebuts his question is fucking priceless. It gives strength to the rumor the Robert Kelly is an illiterate idiot savant that just happens to make some of the greatest music you have ever heard. 

Cake

Flex is just saying the truth about the Pied Pedo, and he handles the Worm question with class. Flex feels sorry for the girls Kells has tore up. We feel the same way, f*ck Kells!

For the direct link to the video click here...

I hate to spend my inaugural post on R. Kelly but I just have to!!!

YOU SHOULD NOT SUPPORT HIM! I don't normally tell people what to do but I can't seem to understand, especially after his recent BET interview, why anyone in their right mind would support this scumbag... I know that many people have ran to his rescue with comments like "Its the girl's fault.." ETC. He admits he likes them at 19 years old and wants you to DEFINE the word "TEENAGER." Hearing that made me want to fall out of the will of God and throw something! So yes, R. Kelly is a sick and nasty BOY!

But I want to tell you whats more disheartening than anything!

Its the mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers who think that it is cute to dance to this man's music, protect him, blame the girls, or their parents! THIS IDIOT SAID THE ALLEGATIONS STOLE 7 YEARS OF HIS LIFE???? As though he is the victim because he pissed on a teenage girl!!!! Poor R. Kelly!!! Let me be the one to host your pity party! I'll be inviting the Mothers Against Sexual Abuse, Strong Mothers Against Child Molestation, and Mothers against Sexual Predators. All of his supporters are welcome to come to! It is there that we will define for R. Kelly what a TEENAGER is since BET thought it was cute to allow this man to talk crazy like this!

The last day I watch BET will be the day they reward this man for his gutter behavior! I am going to wal-Mart to hang his face on the predator board!

Original version taken from the album "Janet".

Friday I was waiting on the bus stop when a female runner ran by. She was amazing. She was about my height, dark caramel skin, and a thick athletic build. If I didn't have a girlfriend I probably would have stalked this female. So that made me a little happy. I quickly stopped to think, "Oh, my goodness! What if that chick was in high school?" Usually I won't pass judgment on a female that isn't 18 yet because it's illegal and weird. Even if I'm only 22 years old, a few years will get you 20. Quickly I realized that it was almost nine in the morning and high school starts earlier than that so I was relieved and free to enjoy my day.

With a fresh and pleasant attitude my day was going well, that is until my matrix algebra class. I walked into class to see a little blonde kid sitting in the chair that my professor uses. I thought that it was weird but I shrugged it off and went to my seat. My professor came out of a corner and started class. Before actually lecturing she introduced her son that had been with her all day because Fayette county public schools had the day off for an academic holiday. Immediately I thought back to the gorgeous runner I had seen earlier while waiting for the bus. I felt disgusted. I could have been judging someone's daughter who hadn't even gotten her license yet (I don't want to hear it…I'll get my license soon, anyway.)

FIGURE 42.1: The future of middle school girls in America…

This has been an epidemic in the past decade. Something needs to be done about the amount of hormones floating around in everything from bread to tap water. This isn't a problem for the women being affected that are at or around my age (legal), but for the younger girls. One of my best friends is about 8 years older than me. When we used to hang out way back in the day, he'd always complain about how little girls (females around my age) were dressing too grown up and having adult bodies they didn't need. I didn't listen to him complain because he is one of those people that complains about everything. I now realize that he was right.

What kind of world do we live in when grown men can't ogle and objectify females as sexual beings while they are getting exercise to live up to (mostly) unrealistic expectations of beauty developed by rich old white guys in Hollywood? I'm pissed. If I want to look at a runner, I should be able to look at a runner without feeling like some creepy old man. The key to correcting this problem (besides me 'respecting women' and not looking) is to have all females under the age of 18 wear a bright neon colored vest at all times. If the female doesn't wear the vest then her parents are fined by the government. With these brightly colored neon vests guys at parties will know which females they should avoid. Clubs and adult businesses would know which girls weren't allowed into their establishments to get felt up by Akon. Life would be much better. In closing…I'm officially a dirty old man...probably.

FIGURE 42.2: I don't feel as dirty as this douchebag though…