Bacon and legs.

It's been a long couple weeks to say the least.  The funeral was nice, very sad, and we know Jonny is in a better place.  My heart is still hurting for MIke and his family. They say time heals all, and that's all we can hope.

That's not what this post is about though.  As you can see from the title, it's about birthday memories.  My birthday was yesterday (WHOO WHOO) and i'm the big 3-3.  So, I thought I could go back into my sordid, and fucked up memory and give you all some sweet birthdays past.  Let's start at the beginning:

1-4  I was a baby for Christ sakes, like i'm gonna remember those!

5- My parents had a wild 3 day Labor day/birthday celebration.  Down at the moon tower, full kegs, everyone's gonna be there, you should go.    We're talking piles of presents, a fancy new dress, and a porta-potty.  Nothings says Birthday like a porta-potty.

6- Unfortunately don't remember this one.  I think I may have gotten drunk, but who knows.

7- Not too sure about this one either.  I think there may have been some strippers, and a luge.

8- Ah, this one I remember because of the bad ass shoe skates I got.  You remember, the metal ones that fit over your shoes?  You leave them out in the rain one time and they're rusted toast.  I learned the hard way.

9-Not too sure about this one.  I think that was the year I joined the biker gang.  Good times.

10- My friends parents had a party for me, as my mom was MIA (again).  I remember I got a new training bra.  I didn't fit into it for another 2 years.

11-  Again, this one escapes me.  Too many jaeger bombs.  They're so good though.

12-  I remember this one well because we crammed everyone into our 1 bedroom apartment, and my cousin bought me barbie clothes.  AS IF???  (it was not exactly the way I wanted my developing friends to know I still played with barbies).

13- Now, you would think I would remember this one.  It was my first teen birthday.  I think we went to Africa and saved a pack of lions that year.  Always doing good for humanity.

14-  Damn, this memory shit is for the fucking birds.  I'm starting to think my mom just forgot.

15- Now, this one I remember because it was right after I moved in with my dad.  I got a phone for my room, which proceeded to be taken from me at regular intervals until I turned 18.

16- This one sucked.  Went to a funeral and got a word processor.  (Who buys their kid a word processor for their birthday? LAME!!!)

17-  Haha!  Hotel party!! Me and my peeps hooped and hollered it up until we got kicked out for having alcohol.  We ended up in some dumpy hotel on 8 mile.  All was not lost though, as we had enough money to scrape up some more alcohol.

18-  I'm pretty sure it was another hotel party, but we were doing that pretty regularly so the parties are starting to run together.

19-  I was knocked up.  Not a fun birthday.

20- Drunk

21- Major party with loud blasting from Metallica, a really funny stripper, and so much weed you would have thought we were having a Cheech and Chong casting party.  My friends left me passed out at midnight and went to the bar.  Bastards.

22-31-  Not too much, I think I just drank, cried, and peed myself.

32- I had a sleepover at my friends house.  Pedicures, liquor and The Notebook.  I actually dumped a pan of water all over my friends floor and stuffed my face in my cake.  Awesome!

33- Took the kids to dinner, the embarrassed me and made me stand on a chair while the staff yelled and screamed happy birthday at me.  It was pretty funny.  Now, today (day 2 of my birthday celebration) we're going with friends and family to Big Fish, one of my favorite restaurants!! Let the drinking begin!!

Well, thanks kids, for going down this wonderful, uh forgotten trip down memory lane. 

We'll see you next time.  Same whore time, same whore channel.

Peace out, bitches!

The GOP has received a cease and desist letter. No not from the American people, though I think that will come, in time. They received it from Heart.  You know Heart, the seventies girl band that kicked some serious musical ass back in the day ?

It seems those arrogant crafty McCain staffers were using Barracuda as their Palin introductory song. Which would have been fine had they gotten permission to do so first. They didn't and band members are outraged, outraged I say, at the blatant misuse of their song.

I agree completely. Of course, why would Republicans want to refer to their own candidate as a 'Barracuda" ? A barracuda is not a nice cuddly animal. Nor is it a nice thing to call a woman. Fantastic 80's bar fights have been fought over the use of that tag. Also does anyone remember the actual lyrics?  Aside from a few moments of clarity, it's really confusing, although fun to sing along to. I always get lost when the porpoise comes in at the second stanza.

Is the GOP trying to say that Palin is a vicious confusing animal? That doesn't seem like the right message to be sending at this point in time. Although with all the gossip running about the Net, it might be more apt then the Republicans realize.

Anyway, they can't use it any more. So I think we the people should help choose a new song for Palin. Post your choice in the comments. I'll send them along to McCain's website.

Dogwoman

Orang Madura ( OM ): “Pelayan saya mau pesan sarapan untuk besok pagi ya, tolong dicatat, saya minta diantar di kamar saya jam 6 pagi, jangan telat ya sebab saya ada rapat.”

Pelayan (P): Mau pesan apa Tuan?

OM: Saya mau pesan bret jembret.

P: Apa Tuan???

OM: Bret jembret!!!

P: Maaf Tuan apa itu bret jembret???

OM: Sampeyan ini gimana sih, jadi pelayan hotel terkenal kok bego. Anda bisa bahasa inggris nggak ?? Bahasa inggrisnya roti apa??

P: Bread (bret) Tuan.

OM: Nah sekarang bahasa inggrisnya selai apa???

P: Jam (Jem) Tuan.

OM: Lah itu kalau roti dikasih selai terus atasnya dikasih roti lagi apa nggak bread jam bread tak iye… doh sampeyan ini gimana sih!!!

P: Ooooooooooh itu Tuan. Lalu minumnya apa Tuan??

OM: Susu soda!!!

P: Pakai es Tuan?

OM: Lho lha iya pakai es dong, kalo nggak pake es kan jadi “u u oda” tak iye, dok re mak sampeyan ini!!!

P: ???!!! @@@&&^%%%$###))** *))&&&&

Ach?!?

I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR ME TO BE AT THE AMAZING FEET OF DIR EN GREY.

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my fath er mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hop one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me any more. Better I emeow you, you emeow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Good buy...

Worm reguard,
Ah Beng

These lessons will be the BEST! Had my first today and it was exactly what I expected - drawing technically. We had to draw a camera to scale with as much detail. Everyone was getting marks such as 7/10 or 6/10 and he gave me a 9/10. A lost mark due to fact the camera looked like it had been sat on and stretched. I drew it too long basically.

But our teacher is a really funny guy. I have only seen him around school shouting at people because of their uniforms but he is really easy to get along with and fun. But he did give me a lecture on how my Irish surname was spelt differently in Gaelic or something. He was Irish by the way ... he wasn't just randomly talking about my name.

Anyway we three lessons a week and the next is tomorrow. Cant wait. That is if I can be bothered to draw at 9 o'clock in the morning. Graphics ... it's all good ;)

ada ada saja sam cecep.

gambar aslinya ada di sini

I'm so inspired, I've written down more ideas in the past week than I have in two years. I'm just oozing creativity, seriously. I bleed paint and spit ink. (I pee polyurethane too.. I can't think of one for pooping though.. hmm..)

I'm so happy to be free from that rut I was in.. and free from everybody and everything that was holding me in it. Heck yeah life, you're amazing.

Oh, and by the way, September 3rd 2010 will be a beautiful day, just you wait and see.

Sicken idiot!

http://www.jesper.nu/filmer/tv/5212-Onanera_dig_gammal/