Now for the mission

the telescope is in mage barrow
to get to mage barrow click on the fire thing!

in mage barrow go to the left and click on the telescopethen play memory if you mach all the pairs up before the time runs out you win!

me and professor nocturne lol

... auch Schmetterlinge können manchaml etwas durcheinander sein. Worte finden sie manchmal dennoch...

A funny thing, my hair was getting really dried out and breaking all the time even though I was using a silk type softening agent on my hair that's supposed to make it more manageable and healthier.  Well, that just wasn't working so I've decided to not use shampoo anymore.  All I am using is an extremely inexpensive hair conditioner from Big Lots and it seems to be doing the trick.  I even got a compliment yesterday from a neighbor about how healthy my hair was looking.  :-)  It feels good too now.  :-)

As my new Computer Literacy online course starts on Monday, I should probably start checking out the assignments and get a head start on them if at all possible.  I really am thankful for this opportunity to try to earn my bachelor's degree in Graphic Design through The Art Institue of Pittsburg Online Division.  This coming course will introduce me to Photoshop, Illustrator, Office 2007, Windows XP, etc.  It may be a little too remedial for me as I really do possess pretty good computer skills but I didn't want to challenge it so that I could learn more and become more familiar with sharing my artwork in a simple way in the virtual classroom.  It's all good.  Yay!

Thank you to all those who are remembering me in their prayers or even just sending good vibes my way.  Thank you to all potential benefactors (I currently possess none) who realize that this little disabled lady needs a helping hand to continue my ministry to others in God's name.  God bless you all.

Peace and love, Out, Linda, lvance@live.com

She smiled.

"Did you enjoy that?"

"Yes."

"I thought you would."

"What was in it?"

Zoe grinned and tapped the side of her nose.

"That's a trade secret, but I can give you a hint - it grows in the dark."

"Goodness!" I said. "Can I have some more?"

The girl shook her head.

"No, one's enough." She settled herself on the sofa and patted the space by her side. "Now, sit down here and tell me all about yourself."

I did as instructed.

"My name's Malcolm Page," I said, keeping up the pretence, though not for the life of me could I recall why. "I'm twenty-eight years of age, unmarried but hopeful. What about you?"

The woman's outline grew blurred.

"Zoe Carpenter," said a deep, distant voice, "and I'm old, Malcolm - incredibly old."

"Really? I find that surprising," I murmured, before drifting away.

When I woke up, Zoe was bending over my body.

I sat up with a start.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Nothing, Malcolm. Nothing at all.

"How long have I been asleep?"

She smiled sadly.
"Time, Malcolm? Time is quite meaningless."

"Not to me, it isn't. I'm late, Zoe."

She gave a sly grin. "Late for what?"

I lifted a hand to my poor, spinning head. "I don't know. At least ... I can't remember."

Zoe put a cool hand on my forehead. "Relax, Malcolm. Lie down and rest. You'll feel ever so much better for it."

"Will I? No!" I leapt to my feet and pointed a finger at her. "Did you steal Trevor McBride's money?"

She laughed.

"Me? Don't be silly. What on earth would someone like me want with money?" She waved a hand to encompass the room. "Look. I've got everything that I need."

I looked, and it was true - she had.

"And now, dear Malcolm," she said, "I have you."

Mi-am adus aminte asa de jocuri ca T. Renegade, Dizzy, Bruce Lee sau Robocop ca sa mentionez doar cateva, desi lista este impresionanta.

Cautand pe net mi-am adus aminte de 2 site-uri care promoveaza jocuri pt spectrum zx si jocurile free:

http://www.abandonia.com <--jocuri pt spectrum zx

http://www.reloaded.org <-- jocuri free

Sper ca cei care isi mai aduc aminte de acele vremuri o sa vizete site-urile si o sa gaseasca joculetele care le-am incantat la un moment dat copilaria sau privirea.:)

You can recognize the all too familiar symptoms almost immediately. A rapidly beating heart, sweaty palms and shortness of breath. Maybe you even experience nausea or other abdominal issues. You may get dizzy, faint or have trouble swallowing. All of these physical symptoms can be the sign of a panic attack. Read Further What Causes a Panic Attack

The world spins,
                 twirls,
                     whirls

When I’m standing,
A lost little girl.

You’d be a mess too,
    if you had my thoughts—
In your head
Every day

Slowly killing

Always winning

Now my poor head is ringing...

It’s an everyday fight

Which side will I choose?
          The reality...

                   ...or the truth?

© Sadiya September 9 2008

By the way, I bought a scrapbook last Sunday which I want to pass to my colleagues for them to write some notes for me to keep as memento :) I got this idea when I read an article on newspaper about the autograph which we used to write when graduate from primary or secondary school. I want to remember my colleagues and friends here as they really enriched my life in many different ways. They were very shocked actually when hearing from me that I am going to leave the company soon. In their eyes I belong to the group of people that 100% loyal employee, hehe.

Initially I wanted to write the preface, but after checking my handwriting again I felt that it's better to print it out rather than handwriting :) Nowadays very seldom write so handwriting is very stiff... hehe... So I browse the internet to get some idea of what to write onto the preface, then copy-paste-modify-decorate... and tada..... here's my preface on the scrapbook.

I like the font very much, it's called SAGINAW and you can get it here for free. The cute boy waving goodbye clipart is cute too :) Anyway, let's hope they will write something nice and funny, then I will share it here :)

Oh ya, should begin my countdown to my 'departure' from this company. My last day will be on 21st October hence there's another 29 days to go. Feeling both excited and sad.....

Cheers!

Catching up with a friend across the Atlantic - not just a friend but a very dear one - via Blackberry sat outside of FAO Schwartz with a glass of iced coffee and a crowd of tourists catching the tail end of NY's Indian summer '08 on Fifth Avenue can be fun. Especially after picking up a pair of fabulous jeans at a fancy store with the best dance music you will ever hear in the Big Apple...

Except, by the time I brought the jeans home, I realized the cut was completely wrong. Therefore, an imminent return + refund was inevitable!

Feeling a little dizzy after that double-shot espresso on ice, but how could I neglect a few minutes of "Dear Blog" coziness? Never!

Wait, but I haven't eaten anything since the picnic earlier this afternoon around 1 or so. Crazy! That's why I'm dizzy, no wonder...

"What's for dinner tonight?" is the big question! And the answer is equally promising - potatoes in tomato/garlic/coriander sauce. Yummier than it sounds, I promise.

Wouldn't be so smart to go out AGAIN tonight - not with the amount of paperwork I've got waiting to be typed out and edited. A manuscript is no joke, you know. Pretty intense but well worth the hassle, I bet!

If I manage to get through the work tonight, I'll try to write more nonsensical little-nothing's later. But for now, tara!

I went to school and this friend of mine Zoe got a industrial piercing. It was hot! It really looked cewl on her. She maybe in a bit of a pain but it's worth every penny cuz itss a pretty piercing x] So now Juno AND Zoe got a piercing done. I'm left :| Hihi . I was thinking about a liplabaret, one lippiercing. But I dunnow snakebite is cewl too o.O I wanna get a piercing that not alot of ppl have. And a labaret or snakebite is something that lots of people have. =.= So im kinda figuring out what kind of piercing I want and I want it done in October.  TADADAAAM!

Help me i really dunt kno what to get. I saw so many cewl piercings but I dun't kno what to get. If you got some idea's please hit me up x] ahahaha. I've been wathcing youtube vid's op ppl getting all different kind of piercings but still i dunt have no goddamn inspirations x]

"Can you say Red?"

So next subject. I got this light headache and my feet hurt. I'ts not bad. It could be worse =.= For the first time i whuz actually chillin' OUTSIDE school with my crackfriend J. x] it whuz fun , 'cause i actually felt crappy that day and not felt like stayin' home. I saw her house for the first time. She lives like in the MIDDLE of the city of Amsterdam. It whuz a little small but warm home. Tv whuz on , some wine and petrikov on the table and cigarette smell everywere. It whuz saturdaynight. Saturday night chillin' in the livingroom drinking sum wine and talking bout... Uhm i forgot the subject but okay we had fun =]. It's like 2 years since the last time i had a-l-c-o-h-o-l in my little body. It whuz the last time cuz i went bad like whut =| hihi but yesterday night whuz hilarious . The themesong from that night whuz Lollipop. ( DOnt ask why >.< ) After 5 glasses of wine and 2 glasses of 'Pertrikov' i already felt the "liquor" kicking in x]. Hihi . So i kind of backed down and tried not to drink any further. Just ate lots of popcorn . Salty popcorn and ate 2 pizza's all by myself! Yeaaah i whuz hungry x'] Pff watched sum bad movies like Sream and Ginger Snaps.

J : "GINGA GINGA x]"

Later that night some other friends came over  but we didnt felt being with them to. So we pretended that one of us was o.d-ing and finally they went away. x] I actually dont kno what the fuck we were talking about all night but. They mad some kickass disturbing suicidal geak crazy pictures x] And one girl even went bad. hm ... cheap pizza's really does fill your stomach when you are hungry and feeling dizzy after a view glasses of wine. I feel like eatin' popcorn right now . =.=

Talkin' about partys. The day before last night i went to another party. B.O.S.S at Paradiso. I went with my sister and a group of friends of her. It whuz soo much fun! x] I whuz on the gueslist under this weird name ; Nabil ten Nate or i dunnow how the fuck you write it T__T But it whuz fuckin crazy! I danced the whole night with my sister and her friends.  After the party we were walkin torch the car cuz we were gonna be brought home. And we were walking with her best friend and another friend. ( Two boys that is) Hihi. They were talkin' crazy x] Ahahah even in the car the madness didnt stop x]

So far my weekend. It's now sunday. The sun is shining. I'm still kind of in this headache phase cuz of the boos yesterday. Im asian im tiny. I didnt at alot BEFORE i came there. =.= I think i will sit outside later with my sister. In the sun. ^^ I think some fresh air will do me good. 16 years. What to do.

Love, Chibbie

I did manage to let my Rose outisde to potty.  She is now back in her crate.  I counldn't feed dog s this morning.  I couldn't move.  I'm dizzy and nautious and feel like dog poo runned over...twice!

I did manage to shower.  That was what made me so dizzy.  I took my AM pills.  None of which are for fibro, just bladder meds, an allergy pill and move free and a multi vitamin.  I have not talen any pain meds today.  I hurt.  I should go take 1/2 of a pill.

I wore the most comfortable clothing I own.  loose loose baggy jeans and a HUGE polo shirt that used to belong to my brother-in-law so it's like a 4X.  I wear a ladies large most of the time.  I'm cold.  I'm hot.  I hurt.  I wanna cry.

In other news, I'm sick. Or at least I'm dizzy enough that I had to miss class today because I couldn't (well didn't feel comfortable) drive. I hope this goes away. I've been dizzy all day, and I have no clue why.

I'm also hoping that they start an olympics for the creation of strange creatures. Below is a drawing of a Bobba which Maxi described to me and insisted that I did a representative drawing (however he did insist on drawing Bobba's food himself, in orange). Maxi - "Daddy, a Bobba has the body of a sausage, 100 legs and his hair is made of leaves."

Once the excitement of the drawing had passed Maxi went onto the more leisurely pursuit of feeding his toy dog Dizzy. Maxi decided the best way to do this was to give him some milk from his belly button, just like he'd seen Mum doing with Mirabelle....

I love how people think.  It is very interesting to see how people develop themselves.  Really.  Have you ever noticed that with people you hang around, and then don't?  Kind of the whole idea of growing apart? 

I realize that Mel Brooks spoofs movies and is a comedian.  He has a lot of creative gestures and jokes to make fun of the things people don't want to acknowledge.  How come we don't make fun and laugh a little more?  AS I have written in this blog, and hovered around --- no one laughs.  It's what it boils down too. Everyone is very concerned with the economy, money, gas, bills, the gambit. 

The life we have been given is suppose to be great!  Do we always get what we want or desire? No.  If we do, usually it is not as great as we thought it was going to be.  If we don't, we harp on it and bitch for years to come.  Why?  Try looking at it like this...appreciate what you have and thank God for the things you don't have.  There is a reason, a higher reason, for why you and I do not get what we want all the time.  Just gotta appreciate, value, and see what you.  Figure out how to really LIVE!

I was too bobsmacked when I met him, so I did make quite a fool of myself. "Just gonna get some lunch you know," I stuttered, my voice loaded with guilt even though I don't really had anything to feel guilty about. "I'd really like to talk to you," I said. "Yeah, I read your text. I'll come round later, he said. According to Twin A, he didn't look jealous or anything about the fact that I was walking with him. "And it's the other thing, you know what it is. I've got some facts." Well, that's what I thought he said. What TJ did say, was "And I have to drop that thing to you. You know what I mean. Not realising that before twin A had told me though, I said, "Yeah sure," my heart beating even faster. facts about me cheating? I though and I wanted to be sick right there and then. "No Hard feelings though," I said, meaning I wasn't angry. I was more sad than angry. "Well, if that's what you want," TJ replied. "I haven't made my decission yet." "Have or haven't," I said, feeling deaf and dizzy. "Havent. We're two people talking and two people making this decission." "Yeah, definitely," I said and with a smile we parted agreeing to see each other that night.

Twin A made fun of the way I behaved outside the takeaway all the way home. He meant well and at least I know he's honest, but I felt weird and embarrassed and wanted to forget all about what had just happened. Before I went to work, I sent tJ this text: In case I don't get hold of you later, feel free to get into my flat. I'll probably be home between 12 and 1 am. I want this chat to try work things out rather than break them off. See you later.

He didn't show up. I tried calling him a couple of times, but his phone was off. It's Sunday now and he still hasn't showed up. I haven't called him. I don't want to. He is the one who has to call me now. It's his call. On the other hand though, unless he's dead, or in hospital suffering from a serious injury, I reckon the fact he didn't even have the decency to let me know why he didn't show up is sign enough that our relationship is over. I am hurt, but not shocked, so I won't feel the same way as I did with M, the whole too hard to get over it thing. I'm starting a new jog soon, a new life. I've had a nice quiet weekend which I needed, but TN is coming from Norway tonight which will be superb. I don't need a man, I want one and my next man will hopefully be someone I can make a future with.e

It challenges you to a word race game. Some of the answers are: Dragon, Ghost, Phantom, Gnome, Giant, Fairy, Griffin, Unicorn. When you win you get 250 coins.

I don't like posting without a picture. Here's Stine & Jakob, earlier this summer, when they found a garder snake. I believe Stine even kissed it! Crazy kids!

Vertigo is one of those medical conditions that you probably haven't even heard of before you get it and have absolutely no idea how horrible it can be to live with until you do. I know that I had always been under the illusion that vertigo was something people only suffered from when they peered down from a tall building, descended down a steep set of stairs or threw themselves off a bridge attached to an elastic band. For the record, that last one does come with it's own medical condition. It's called insanity.

It is actually a symptom of a balance disorder, which gives a constant sensation of spinning or whirling and the illusion of movement, when no movement is actually present. An example of this would have been when I sat at the traffic lights the other day and the road in front of me looked as if it were moving towards me at considerable speed. It was quiet a surreal experience and had I not known better I would have sworn that someone had laced my green tea with a hallucinogenic mushroom or two. Throw in some dancing trees and a talking dashboard and the 'trip' would have been complete.

This sensation of constant movement is apparently classed as 'subjective vertigo'. The perception of movement in surrounding objects is called 'objective vertigo'. What do you know, it's my lucky day. I seem to have been blessed with both types.

Now I have never had a good sense of balance at the best of times. I am likely to pass out on any fairground ride faster than the 'Tea Cups', I feel sick if I towel dry my hair upside and I couldn't walk in a straight line even if it were 2 feet wide and came with a built in hand rail. So no, having a medical condition that affects balance is never going to be a good thing.

It came on out of the blue, just a week after my husband came out of hospital with his own clot to worry about. After a 3 day imploding headache, the loss of my peripheral vision and no sense of feeling in my hands I decided that I had reached dizzy new heights that I couldn't deal with anymore. I checked myself into Emergency. One night and 5 different doctors later and the world was still spinning. I was told I was suffering from a migraine and was sent home the next day. 2 days later in a state of desperation I threw myself into my doctor's chair and begged him to fix me.

30 seconds later he told me what was wrong, handed me a box of tissues and then told me there was nothing he could do. Funny how he knew to give me the tissues first.

Not knowing what had brought it on made it seem even more bizarre. It could have been stress (husband with blood clot - check), some sort of virus, a problem of the inner ear balance mechanisms or even something wrong with my brain. I heard that thought, I do have one. They did an MRI and double checked.

When living in a time where antibiotics are dispensed like Strepsils, it's rather unsettling to be told that the prescribed remedy for what you have is, wait for it... 'waiting'. Especially when it can take up to 3 months to go away. Worse still is being told not to get stressed.  Not being able to locate the butter in fridge can make me stressed, what hope did I have of staying calm when I couldn't even cross a room without drifting off sideways or pick my son up without wanting to throw up all over him.

I left the doctors armed with a boxes of tablets to try and combat the dizziness and nausea. Ironically one of the side effects of the tablet was dizziness. I then went home to lay down and feel incredibly sorry for myself. Had I known back then how long it would last I think I might just have crawled into a hole and lost all will to live.

There are of course lots of suggested alternative cures on the Internet and plenty of books written about how to deal with Vertigo. Somewhere I read that using energy saving light bulbs can make it worse and strawberries can make it better. So I ate several punnets to compensate for all the bulbs that we use in the house and hoped they would cancel each other out.

I found vertigo exercises to try, limited myself to how much I worked everyday and tried to keep as calm and stress free as possible. I found someone to help treat the tight knots in my neck and back and made myself start going to Pilates again. I ruled out the Body Balance and Yoga class as I thought that trying to achieve a 'Downward Dog', 'Tree' or 'One legged King Pigeon' pose probably result in last night's dinner coming right back out to greet me.

Then last week the whole family came came down with a virus, something that, unpleasant as it was may just have proved to be that proverbial cloud with a silver lining.

If you are eating, please don't keep reading:

The force with which my Sunday Roast left my stomach, coupled with the piece of chicken that shot out as I blew my nose afterward (disgusting I know, but medically relevant) seemed to unblock my ear and reduce the severity of the vertigo. It has now been 3 days since I stopped popping my pills and (touch wood) I am finally feeling a bit better. Obviously if you find yourself suffering from vertigo, intentionally making yourself sick isn't a route I would recommend, but on this occasion it seems to have done the trick for me.

So to cut a long story short, if you ever find yourself unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of a bout of vertigo be reassured by the knowledge that as horrible as it is, it will eventually go. Until then, try not to get too stressed, it only makes it worse.

: : : : : : : : : : :

Now I'm not completely stupid.  I know it's a matter of choice.  This reminds me of a bible verse in Romans that says "The things I want to do, I can't seem to do and the things I don't want to do, I can't help but do." So my conclusion on the matter of spending vs. saving is that I have no one but myself to blame.  Discipline is at the core of this which takes us right back to habits. Well it's no wonder that I get dizzy just thinking about my finances.

   He's sweeter than I imagined. When he greeted us it was if we had always known each other. Like he'd been there for every award ceremony, birthday, grazed knee. There was a feeling of connection. Of familiarity.

His house was nothing like I imagined. It was warm and inviting, with fresh flowers that he'd picked himself that morning from his small garden bed, sitting in a glass vase on the kitchen table. He had our lunch on the table, small sandwiches with the crusts cut off (how I liked them when I was 6) waiting for us. 

John walked us into the living area and we all took a seat on his various antique furniture. He obviously hadn't gone shopping for new couches in over 40 years. That didn't make it feel old and worn, but loved: full of life. 

  There was enough time for pleasant introductions, but then it was time to freshen up and head out for dinner. John had waited a lot longer than usual for his meal, and warned us that he'd get a bit 'grumpy' if he didn't eat by 8.        We were racing against the clock. haha

    Justin and John went off to get ready while I quietly walked around, looking at his wartime spitfire aeroplane models and his massive archive of family history. He had every significant photo of mine and my sisters life since we were babies, placed triumphantly on his mantle piece, even though he hadn't been there to experience any of it. Mum must have sent him all these...

   He showed me his prized 'Wings', given to him during the 2nd World War when he fought in the airforce during the War in the Pacific. He had sustained an injury to his leg when enemy artillery shot through the cabin of his spitfire and lodged into his leg. It gave him a limp, but when I asked him if it ever bothered him...he simply replied... 

  "It adds character".    This man was so different to what I'd imagined him to be. I really wish I was staying here for longer. 

  Maybe I'll make road trips to Durham a more regular occurrence. For more reason that one... 

On that note. I saw her again. 

 Behind the bar, with a tea towel folded over her shoulder. We met eyes from across the room and I knew she had been waiting for me. Or at least I hoped she had been. 

I was surrounded by a group of loud talking war veterans, all asking a million questions and trying to lead me this way and that to show me their photos that adorned the wall. They were all handsome buggers. Hopefully I get that manly soon.

   Bella laughed to herself as she watched me getting the 'Grand Tour' of the club, obviously she'd been given it a number of times before. 

  All night I was conscious of her watching me, and I couldn't help but look back up and meet her eyes. She was wearing basic blacks but seemed to shine brighter than anyone else in the room (not hard when everyone else is 85+). But even if a bunch of playboy models had walked in at that point, I don't think I would have noticed them. 

I couldn't enjoy my meal because my stomach was flipping. I had to go and talk to her...so I excused myself from my grandfather's party and made my way quickly across of floor. She was drying a beer mug, with a smirk on her face.

B: I see you boys didn't drive into a ditch or anything? Glad you got back safely without our help again. Don't think I could take another knock to the hand with a hammer again.

J: Ahhh....(nervously I laughed)..I'm so sorry about that. How is it feeling?

B: Oh it's fine. Just a bit of a dent in my bone structure though. Oh well, it adds character.

I wonder why everyone keeps saying that?

We went on talking for a quite a while. I sat by the bar like one of her regulars while we discussed Durham, school, our life ambitions. You know...normal introductory topics. But I could feel a connection. Like I felt with my grandfather. But obviously on a different level. She was so different. 

I took this photo while at the bar with Bella accidently when pulling stuff out of my bag. I kept it cause I think it's an apt illustration of what I was seeing last night. Nothing. Only a swirl of flashing poker lights, I felt dizzy so I couldn't really focus on anything.

 Apart from her.