Football fans are completely powerless to influence results, an observation whose most glaring exception - the Reds beating Chelsea in the 2005 European Cup; and will I ever get tired of referencing that night? I think not - only goes to prove the rule. We react to what we see on the pitch, not the other way round. The performances shape our hopes, fears and expectations. You only have to look at the way the ambitions of Newcastle United fans have crushed successive teams of managers and players, not lifted them up where eagles fly as the orthodoxy would have us believe happens, to see the truth of that.

So if you are looking for evidence that Liverpool are moving in the right direction, you could have done worse than observe my demeanour at half-time of the match against Manchester City at Eastlands. Anyone who read my pessimistic screed a few weeks back after beating Manchester United would have been forgiven for thinking I would have being slitting my wrists when Garrido rattled in that free kick. This isn't to say that I wasn't perturbed at the prospect of our decent start to the season coming to a crashing halt against the Premier League's latest moneybags club. But mixed in with the despair was hope.

The hope didn't spring from some nonsense about the spirit of Istanbul - only three of the players who started that day lined up against Citeh, a remarkable enough stat in and of itself. It was simply that this team has shown themselves to be made of stern stuff in recent weeks. After the frustration of being denied repeatedly by a small club like Stoke they would have been forgiven at half time in the derby for thinking 'oh no, not again'. But they seemed confident that if they kept chipping away that their superior football skills would be decisive, and so it proved as Fernando 'doesn't score much away from home' Torres came up trumps. For all of my previous talk of reverting to the mean, it didn't seem outrageous that we could come out in the second half and do a number on the Mancs.

Think of it this way. At 2-0, I was confident we'd get one back. At 2-1, that we'd equalise. When they had a man sent off, I was eagerly anticipating the Reds going for the jugular which they did in most impressive fashion. When we had won, it was heartening to think that we battered a team when we had the man advantage, not an accusation you could level against us in recent times. Then I found out that the third goal had come 10 v 10, which just made it better. Heck, nothing short of a long term injury could ruin this buzz!

Darn.

I've always been a fatalist, preparing for the worst and therefore being ready for it if it happens. On the other hand, I've always been determined to extract the best out of any situation. So you might be 2-0 down against Man City, but they're probably better under Mark Hughes than most of us expect and losing there is no shame. Compare that to the legions of online Reds who went into complete meltdown when staring defeat in the face. People were already talking about defeat before it happened, oblivious to recent robustness, the harshness of the deficit in the context of the match or trivial things like, you know, every game lasting 90 minutes.

Those people will claim that they've seen decent starts to the season before only to have the Reds hit the wall in true marathon fashion. This is fair enough, and I've been saying to my wife (to the point where she has stopped listening to me) that we seem to be only one bad result from complete implosion. But that result hadn't happened by half time against City and - get this! - it still hasn't happened. To make matters worse, most of the Cassandras behaved post-match as if the result were a blip and that their half time prognostications were a more reasoned analysis of what had just happened.

There is a world of difference between sounding a note of caution after a great result, whether it be beating Man Utd or coming from 2-0 down away to beat any team you can think of, and braying that the world is coming to an end because you happen to be losing at half time. Who knows, if people could learn to appreciate the distinction they might enjoy following their team a little bit more.

An amazing win in Manchester today!  At the half, I was certain that the best we could do was draw, but failed to estimate Liverpool's ability come back and take three points from Mark Hughes' side.  Now, me being someone who didn't grow up watching this sport, I've learned a bit about chance in the last few years.  I've learned that a team doesn't go down 0-2 heading into the half and come back to draw, let alone win.  This is a different team, I've learned.  This is the team that fell at 0-3 at the half in Istanbul, but ended up taking the Champions League Title by penalty kicks.  This year Liverpool has an incredible squad with Torres an Keane up front, Kuyt and Riera running along the wings, a healthy Gerrard and Alonzo in the mid, and a solid defensive group.  This is a team that might just have what it takes this year.

To Recap: I woke up this morning at 9am to watch the game on FSC, which I'd remembered to record the night before while I managed to put together a few posts here.  It was then that I was deciding whether or not to write a preview and expectations of the game, or the 49ers game for that matter.  The Liverpool - Manchester City 'Derby' is not as heated as the last few matches (Man Utd and Everton) but ended up being intense non the less.  City drew first blood with a one timer into the top corner of the net when Stephen Ireland had the ball come right to him after Liverpool lost possession.  The second came twenty minutes later when Garrido put it in the same spot with what I'd admit was a an incredibly beautiful shot.  I was stunned and went into the half thinking I might just fast-forward if I didn't see anything promising in the next few minutes.

Sure enough Ferando Torres answered my prayers twice (again) in the second half, once as he put one in off of a great low cross by Arbeloa and another header off of Stevie's corner kick.  As it also turned out, these were Liverpool's 1000th and 1001st goals in the EPL [link].  Just as fast as they went down, Liverpool came back and tied the game with brilliant efforts by El Nino.  And after a scary moment when Martin Skrtel fell and was taken off in extra time, Dirk Kuyt did what he hadn't done in 27 EPL games: He scored the winning goal late in extra time off of a deflected Torres shot.  It was Torres who we'd expected to create some late magic but we were happily surprised by the Dutchman's effort.  I was standing with my hands in the air, relieved that we didn't fall in a such a disastrous way.  I ended up taking that energy with me to the 49er game, but that was completely different.

Now going into a two week break, I'm feeling much more confident about our hopes this year.  I'm eyeing Chelsea and United scores, looking forward to each game and expecting 3 points out of a match up.  Depending on what happens to Skrtel, I think that we have a solid team and starting 11 that could challenge for the League Title and the UEFA Cup.  He's going to be evaluated tomorrow and we'll find out how long he'll be out later this week.  I think if a player were to get injured, now is a good time.  Like Torres and Gerrard last month, we have some time to rest and get ready for Chelsea and Athletico Madrid in November.

Tertinggal lebih dulu 0-2 dari City dalam lanjutan pertandingan Premiership, Minggu (5/10/2008), Liverpool mulai bisa bersemangat lagi lewat gol Fernando Torres di menit 54, dan membuat skor menjadi 1-2.

Gol tersebut yang membangkitkan semangat Liverpool dan akhirnya meraih kemenangan 3-2 lewat tambahan gol dari Torres dan Dirk Kuyt. Gol tersebut juga menjadi gol keseribu buat klub tersebut sejak Liga Inggris dimulai.

Berikut adalah catatan-catatan gol penting Liverpool dalam menapaki jumlah 1000 gol tersebut, seperti dikutip dari situs resmi Liverpool.

Gol ke-1      : Mark Walters vs Sheffield United (19 Agustus 1992)
Gol ke-100  : Nigel Clough vs Manchester United (4 Januari 1994)
Gol ke-200  : Robbie Fowler vs Manchester United (1 Oktober 1995)
Gol ke-300  : Stan Collymore vs Leeds United (19 Februari 1997)
Gol ke-400  : Michael Owen vs Nottingham Forest (24 Oktober 1998)
Gol ke-500  : Michael Owen vs Coventry City (1 April 2000)
Gol ke-600  : Michael Owen vs Middlesbrough (8 Desember 2001)
Gol ke-700  : Michael Owen vs West Bromwich Albion (26 April 2003)
Gol ke-800  : Milan Baros vs Fulham (5 Februari 2005)
Gol ke-900  : Dirk Kuyt vs Bolton Wanderers (1 Januari 2007)
Gol ke-1000: Fernando Torres vs Manchester City (5 Oktober 2008)

Keane is still to score after 10 games for his new club following the Irishman's £20million move from Tottenham in the summer.

In recent weeks Keane has received strong support from Steven Gerrard and Dirk Kuyt, and now midfielder Mascherano has added his weight to the argument.

He said: "Robbie Keane is a great player, and now he is playing in a different system to what he was used to at Spurs.

"He must get used to the different way that we play, but of course I believe he can have a great partnership with Fernando Torres."

With Gerrard searching for his 100th goal for the club - as Liverpool look for their 100th goal under manager Rafael Benitez in European competition - Mascherano is confident Keane will get off the mark.

He said: "Robbie has scored lots of goals in his career and he will do the same here."

Benitez will have Mascherano back from a calf injury to face the Dutch champions.

The problem now for Benitez is the rampant expectation that sees them expected to beat sides like PSV at Anfield.

It does not help the Anfield coach's plan for calm and concentration when Liverpool have such a good record against Eindhoven.

In 2006-07 on the way to the Athens final against AC Milan, Liverpool met PSV four times in the competition. The sides played out a goalless draw in Holland in the group stages with Liverpool winning the return 2-0.

They then met in the quarter-final with the Reds winning 3-0 in Holland and by a one-goal margin at Anfield.

Benitez said: "PSV are a different side with a different manager and many players since the last time we played them in Europe.

"Yes, we have beaten them at Anfield twice, but that is when things can be dangerous. People expect things to happen.

"The fact that PSV lost their opening group match to Atletico Madrid is also a problem for us. They have to get something here now and they will sit and defend and try to catch us on the counter-attack.

"Now when we are in a good situation, people are really happy, and everybody is expecting to see the team playing well and scoring goals.

"But I think it's more important to be concentrated, to be focused and keep on winning."

Liverpool, unbeaten this season, can all but end PSV's interest in the competition tonight.

But Benitez, who takes charge of his 250th Liverpool game, said: "When you are playing well and winning games, with everyone talking about how good you are, it is important to calm down and get people talking only about the next game.

"It is dangerous when you hear people talking well about your team, then we have to make sure we do not listen to what is being said but just concentrate on the future."

This week we visit Goodison Park for the Merseyside Derby, where two Liverpool players have made it into our list for Week 6. Both Everton & Liverpool drew last weekend against their newly-promoted counterparts. Chelsea and Manchester United should cruise against Stoke City & Bolton respectively, while Arsenal are set to take on overachievers, Hull City.

We begin with Robert Green as our goalkeeper for this week, as West Ham United takes on Fulham. Fulham were goalless against Blackburn last weekend, as Paul Ince's Rovers went on to record only their second victory of the season. The underrated, Green should come out as the winning keeper in the clash between the two London sides.

Richard Dunne & Kolo Touré lead the defense as the two centerhalfs. Both defenders are good choices and should come as a bargain. José Bosingwa & Patrice Evra complete are back-four.

Manchester United will face Bolton and this should be a good time to save a little money in order to afford Cristiano Ronaldo on your team. Tim Cahill is another great choice in the middle - a good player that scores under pressure. The Australian attacking midfielder has scored twice in the two games he's played since his return from injury. Florent Malouda & Shaun Wright-Phillips complete are midfield, as both players are enjoying their rejuvenated starting roles.

As promised, two Liverpool players have been chosen for this week. Dirk Kuyt & Robbie Keane make up our strike force as they take on their old rivals. Keane is highly anticipating his first Merseyside Derby, while Kuyt looks to repeat his team's first Merseyside encounter from last season with another goal.

What is it about Arsenal players plundering hat-tricks at the moment? First, Theo Walcott was England’s hero against Croatia and then team-mate Emmanuel Adebayor put Blackburn to the sword with a treble of his own. Adebayor surged up 99 places to second spot behind leader Deco in the overall Premier League Actim Index standings following his Ewood Park antics thanks to a weekly score of 64 - the highest individual score in the Premier League so far this season.

Ridiculed by some and adored by others, opinion-splitting striker Dirk Kuyt was at the centre of everything during Liverpool’s stunning 2-1 win over arch-rivals Manchester United and his efforts have not gone un-detected by the Actim Index. Kuyt’s dogged attitude and relentless work-rate paid off as he assisted Ryan Babel to score the winner against the Champions at Anfield and, despite having not scored a Premier League goal since November last year, moved up 29 places to ninth in this week’s Actim Index.

While all the hype has been centred around one young Arsenal prodigy this week, another of the Wenger boys has been quietly establishing himself as a big player in this season’s Actim Index. Walcott’s hat-trick heroics for England in Croatia earned him a place in the starting line-up for his club at Blackburn and he did not disappoint as he set up Robin Van Persie to move up 165 places in this week’s standings. But it is Brazilian Neves Denilson who has taken the Actim Index by storm as another solid performance against Blackburn catapulted himself up to eighth place in the standings and make him the only player under the age of 21 to feature in this week’s top 20.

All eyes at Eastlands may have been firmly trained on Robinho as he got his Manchester City career underway but the twinkle-toed Brazilian was outshone by Chelsea warhorse Frank Lampard. Lampard, quite simply, ran the show in the 3-1 win and his second goal of the season swung the game in Chelsea’s favour after Robinho had opened the scoring. The England international has made 111 passes for the Blues - a stat only bettered by team-mate Deco on 121 - and is fifth overall. As for Robinho, six dribbles in his first outing as well as a debut strike gave the City faithful a glimpse of his burgeoning talent.

You would have been forgiven for thinking it was a Don King promotion but the ‘clash of the cash’ between Manchester City and Chelsea certainly lived up to it’s heavyweight billing. Chelsea had to rely on an unlikely source to ensure the Blue tide of money-fuelled success did not turn a lighter shade of turquoise at Eastlands. It was Portuguese defender Ricardo Carvalho who laid the foundations for Chelsea’s 3-1 victory as he pounced to strike the equaliser and silence the home crowd just three minutes after Robinho had given City a 13th-minute lead. His stoic performance earned him an Actim score of 39 and a place in the Team of the Week.

There was a new King on Tyneside last weekend and, no, Kevin Keegan was not dramatically reinstalled as Newcastle boss for a third time. Instead, Hull striker Marlon King scored a brace in a 2-1 win at St James' Park to heap more misery on the Magpies and earn an Index rating in week four of 45. King, in 42nd in the overall rankings, is boss Phil Brown’s highest-ranked player and his return of two goals from four shots on target this season makes impressive reading.

Another striker hogging the headlines, and quite rightly so, was Fulham star Bobby Zamora. The well-travelled forward produced a moment of magic to seal a 2-1 win over Bolton and open his account for the Cottagers following his summer switch from West Ham. But there is much more to Zamora’s game than goals and 42 passes and four crosses in three Premier League appearances to date and four crosses illustrates how effective the 27-year-old has been already for Roy Hodgson's men.

His smiling Italian face may have once adorned the packaging of his own frozen pizza line, but Gianfranco Zola was left out in the cold as he failed to get his team cooking with gas at West Brom. Zola bore the Brunt of The Baggies’ first home win of the season as Northern Ireland international Chris Brunt struck an 83rd-minute winner to give his side a 3-2 victory at the Hawthorns and earn himself an Actim score of 29 and the week’s biggest movement as he escalated 235 places to 167th.

"Ik heb ontzettend veel zin in de Champions League. Het is een geweldige loting, met PSV, Liverpool en Olympique Marseille. De wedstrijd tegen PSV is natuurlijk bijzonder omdat ik weggegaan ben uit Nederland en nu alweer terug mag om in Eindhoven te spelen." Ook de andere duels zijn speciaal voor Heitinga. "Bij Olympique speelt mijn zwager Boudewijn Zenden. Hem had ik al tijdens de loting aan de telefoon. En tegen Liverpool is ook heel mooi: spelen op Anfield Road. En daarnaast spelen Ryan Babel en Dirk Kuyt bij Liverpool."

De loting is even mooi als het moeilijk is. "Het zal een hele klus worden om de volgende ronde te halen. Maar het is mogelijk, want we hebben een goede selectie."

Heitinga vervolgt: "De druk om goed te presteren in de Champions League is groot in Madrid." De laatste keer dat voormalig grootmacht Atletico Madrid uitkwam op het hoogste Europese voetbalpodium was in 1997 (!). "Toen werden ze in de kwartfinale uitgeschakeld door Ajax. Ja, dat weet ik nog goed. Ik was een jaar of dertien en zat thuis op de bank, toen Dani die ongelooflijke goal scoorde. Dat doelpunt vergeet ik nooit meer."

>> Top 10 wonderschone doelpunten van Dani

NOTE: De citaten van John Heitinga komen uit een interview dat Gabriël recent met de speler had voor OnsOranje.nl. Echter, deze passage is niet gepubliceerd, tot nu. Lees hier het gehele interview met Heitinga.

Ideale schoonzoon uit Katwijk,
Nimmer te betrappen op onnodig gezeik.

Hardwerkende modelprof in Liverpool,
Nooit zagend aan de poten van de trainersstoel.

Perfecte twaalfde man bij Oranje,
Wegcijferen dat kan je.

Of tenminste, dat kon je.
Ook de publiekslieveling maakt nu bonje.

Niet langer geschikt voor een reserverol,
Want, zo zeg jij, ook jij bent talentvol.

Zorgend voor de aanvallende balans,
verdien jij een eerlijke kans.

Besluit Van Marwijk jou de mogelijkheid niet te geven,
dan zal de bondscoach nog wat beleven.

Want Dirk Kuyt is Dirk Kuyt niet meer,
hij is nu ook egocentrische meneer.

So far I've had a fairly crapulent start to the season, but my collection of ill-chosen misfits all came good this weekend. Even my goalkeeper got an assist!

Arsenal 3-0 Newcastle

The crisis at Newcastle grows ever more serious - this week they were forced to field Shola Ameobi up front. It wasn't all plain sailing for the gooners as Emmanuel Adebayor received a series of straight 6.0 scores from the judges for his impression of Shola Ameobi - frankly neither of them could hit a grain silo with a sitar. Toon chief bungler Kevin Keegan gave Ghengis Barton a quick run out before he starts his eighteen game ban, or whatever it is the FA hand down to him, and he was quickly into the action with a wretched lunge on Samir Nasri. Keegan was quick to imagine some retaliatory offence by Nasri on Barton which he then whinged about - check out the YouTube highlights while you still can. Goals came from Robin van Persie (don't rush to get him in your team, he went off with an ankle injury moments after he should have scored a third) whilst Denilson got the other. Shola Adebayor chipped in with two assists and fell over a lot after running into trouble.

Barton on Nasri

Nasri - supposedly - on Barton

Arsenal: Almunia, Sagna, Toure, Gallas, Clichy, Eboue (Walcott 72), Fabregas, Denilson (Song Billong 69), Nasri, Adebayor, Van Persie (Vela 63).
Subs Not Used: Fabianski, Ramsey, Djourou, Bendtner.

Booked: Fabregas, Nasri.

Goals: Van Persie 18 pen, 41, Denilson 59.

Newcastle: Given, Coloccini, Jose Enrique (Bassong 44), Taylor, Gutierrez (Barton 89), Guthrie, Butt, Beye (Edgar 89), N'Zogbia, Owen, Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Harper, Tozer, Donaldson, Ranger.

Booked: Coloccini, Given.

Aston Villa 0-0 Liverpool

I'll be honest - I didn't watch the game. We went to visit my folks, played with the neices and nephew for a while and then watched an episode of "Blake's 7":

But it was a really good episode ("The Web") from early in the first series. It's only the second episode since Blake's lot took control of the Liberator. Cally was telepathically taken over and took the Liberator to an uncharted planet where evil scientists from Cally's people are performing genetic experiments. They entangle the Liberator in a giant space-web and Blake can only get it free with their help - but they want something from him first. They want some power packs so they can nuke the botched results of their experiments, who by this time have formed their own society and look suspiciously like kids with hedges on their heads. Blake gets away and the evil scientists get squished by the results of their own experiments. Anyway, there was apparently a game at Villa Park notable only for an injury to Fernando Torres. Liverpool had two others strikers on the pitch (Keane and Kuyt) playing out of position, and Ryan Babel on the bench. But instead Rafa Benitez brought on a 19 year old who couldn't even get into Paris St. Germain's first team last season. Lost the plot already, methinks.

Aston Villa: Friedel, Luke Young (Milner 64), Laursen, Davies, Shorey (Gardner 79), Reo-Coker, Petrov, Barry, Ashley Young, Carew, Agbonlahor.
Subs Not Used: Guzan, Harewood, Knight, Salifou, Routledge.

Liverpool: Reina, Arbeloa, Carragher, Skrtel, Dossena, Kuyt (Aurelio 70), Alonso, Mascherano, Leiva Lucas, Keane (Benayoun 79), Torres (Ngog 30).
Subs Not Used: Cavalieri, Agger, Babel, El Zhar.

Booked: Skrtel, Dossena.

West Ham 4-1 Blackburn

The Upton Park fans were spoilt for choice; should they boo currrent boss Alan Curbishley, the players on show for Alan's Average 'Ammers, or former "player" Paul Ince. Ince has done well to change the team he inherited so fast - they're already a lot easier to score against and a lot less comitted than under Mark Hughes. By the time the fourth goal went in Rovers were already walking about and didn't look to be giving a toss. Callum Davenport - who is to defending what Fred West was to hitch-hiking - surprisingly opened the scoring before Jason Roberts equalised. Roberts then missed a penalty, and it's fair to say that it was the worst penalty since John Terry's in Moscow. In case you need to see Terry's penalty miss again, here it is:

West Ham: Green, Behrami, Davenport, Upson, Neill, Faubert (McCartney 60), Parker, Noble (Mullins 81), Etherington, Cole, Ashton (Bellamy 69).
Subs Not Used: Lastuvka, Boa Morte, Reid, Sears.

Booked: Bellamy.

Goals: Davenport 12, Samba 20 og, Cole 90, Bellamy 90.

Blackburn: Robinson, Ooijer, Samba, Nelsen, Warnock, Emerton, Reid, Grella (Andrews 46), Pedersen (Treacy 66), Roque Santa Cruz (Derbyshire 29), Roberts.
Subs Not Used: Brown, Mokoena, Villanueva, Simpson.

Booked: Grella, Roberts, Ooijer, Emerton, Nelsen.

Goals: Roberts 22.

Bolton 0-0 West Brom

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Bolton: Jaaskelainen, Steinsson, Andrew O'Brien, Shittu, Samuel, Joey O'Brien (Riga 14), McCann, Muamba, Gardner, Nolan, Davies. Subs Not Used: Al Habsi, Hunt, Helguson, Vaz Te, Dzemaili, Fojut.

Booked: Nolan, McCann.

West Brom: Carson, Zuiverloon, Meite (Hoefkens 46), Barnett, Robinson, Borja Valero (Cech 58), Koren (MacDonald 70), Greening, Morrison, Kim, Miller. Subs Not Used: Kiely, Bednar, Brunt, Moore.

Booked: Robinson, MacDonald.

Chelsea 1-1 Spurs

The wheels are coming off the big Phill bandwagon. Yes, they were outstanding on the opening day against a spineless Portsmouth team; they were lucky against Wigan; today they were neither outstanding nor particularly lucky. Balletti scored a fluke opener after a miscued clearence by Darren "broken, not just" Bent, but Bent saved the day with a good finish through Petr Cech's legs. On this showing, they really need a certain petulant Brazillian who can spit his dummy 400 yards.

Chelsea: Cech, Belletti (Kalou 75), Carvalho, Terry, Ashley Cole, Bosingwa, Essien, Lampard, Joe Cole (Malouda 65), Deco, Anelka (Di Santo 88).
Subs Not Used: Cudicini, Bridge, Ferreira, Alex.

Booked: Deco, Joe Cole, Bosingwa.

Goals: Belletti 28.

Tottenham: Gomes, Zokora, Woodgate, King, Gunter (Huddlestone 62), Bentley (O'Hara 72), Jenas, Modric, Bale, Giovani (Lennon 59), Bent.
Subs Not Used: Cesar, Gilberto, Dawson, Assou-Ekotto.

Goals: Bent 45.

Everton 0-3 Portsmouth

Everton's world was rocked by a Portsmouth side who finally remembered what the purpose of a football team was. For Everton Phil Jagiellka started in midfield instead of defence, but they immediately wished he hadn't as Jermain Defoe wriggled through relatively unhindered by defenders to score the first. Defoe then linked with Glen Johnson whole stole a toilet seat from B&Q - oh no, that was in January 2007. Defoe linked with Johnson to score the second, before chipping Tim Howard to score Pompey's third. Yakubu took time off from standing still in an offside position to horribly miss a penalty. Time to get either Defoe or Crouch in before the price goes up too much, I reckon.

Everton: Howard, Neville, Yobo, Lescott, Baines, Arteta, Rodwell, Jagielka, Osman (Baxter 71), Yakubu, Vaughan (Anichebe 58).
Subs Not Used: Turner, Jacobsen, Nuno Valente, Kissock, Wallace.

Booked: Baines.

Portsmouth: James, Johnson, Kaboul, Campbell, Distin, Diop, Davis (Mvuemba 90), Diarra, Armand Traore (Hreidarsson 77), Crouch, Defoe (Utaka 76).
Subs Not Used: Ashdown, Lauren, Sahar, Djimi Traore.

Goals: Defoe 12, Johnson 40, Defoe 69.

Hull 0-5 Wigan

In the day's big rugby match Bernard Cribbins' side coasted to an easy victory. All eleven Wigan warriors had a good game, whilst Hull... will be glad to get the game out of the way. Zaki scored twice, Valencia and Email Heskey scored once with Hull adding an own goal. Even Chris Kirkland got an assist, although it doesn't look like it's been credited to him.

Hull: Myhill, Ricketts, Brown, Turner, Dawson (Mendy 71), Fagan, Ashbee, Marney, Garcia (Barmby 60), Geovanni (Windass 56), Folan.
Subs Not Used: Duke, Hughes, Halmosi, Cooper.

Booked: Ashbee.

Wigan: Kirkland, Melchiot, Boyce, Bramble, Figueroa, Valencia, Palacios, Cattermole (Kapo 79), Kilbane (Brown 56), Heskey (Camara 85), Zaki.

Subs Not Used: Pollitt, Koumas, De Ridder, Kupisz.

Goals: Ricketts 5 og, Valencia 13, Zaki 63, Heskey 68, Zaki 81.

Middlesbrough 2-1 Stoke

In the end, Boro should have had this game wrapped up much earlier. Penalty-miss king Gareth Southgate is quietly building a young and effective outfit, and if Alves, Tuncay, Downing and Aliadiere were slightly less profligate, Stoke would have been buried by half-time.

Middlesbrough: Turnbull, Hoyte (Taylor 72), Wheater, Huth, Pogatetz, Aliadiere, Shawky (Digard 61), O'Neil, Downing, Alves (Mido 76), Sanli
Subs not used: Steele, Riggott, Emnes, Adam Johnson

Booked: O'Neil, Huth

Goals: Alves 37, Sanli 85

Stoke: Sorensen, Griffin, Cort, Abdoulaye Faye, Dickinson (Wilkinson 67), Lawrence, Olofinjana, Amdy Faye, Delap, Kitson (Cresswell 83), Fuller (Sidibe 74).
Subs Not Used: Simonsen, Whelan, Diao, Buxton.

Sent Off: Amdy Faye (36).

Booked: Griffin, Fuller, Lawrence, Wilkinson.

Goal: Hoyte 71 og.

Standard Liege played much better football than us, their passes were more accurate and were threatening at their shots on goal. Thank God Reina was on high alert throughout the 120 excruciating minutes at Anfield.

And once again, it amazes me how Dirk Kuyt is still in our first XI or donning a LFC jersey for that matter. He is all about diligence, but lacks quality befitting of a Top 4 BPL team. Torres clearly had a bad day; he lacks supply from midfield, which brings me to our skipper, Stevie G, whose performance was lacklustre to say the least.

I hope Rafa will wake up his fucking idea, and change his game tactics. I mean seriously, WHAT ATTACKING OPTIONS!? Where's Ngog, Nemeth and Pacheco? Babel looked like he lost his mojo; Benayoun was every defender's dream player - easy to push and shove around and Keane, ok I shall not digress anymore.

Let's just say Dirk Kuyt isn't one of my favourite LFC player, but today, we have to give him credit where credit is due. (Though notice how something good happens when Nabil El Zhar is substituted in)

Let's have a look at Saturday's matches in slightly less detail:

Stoke City 3-2 Aston Villa

Villa came crashing back to earth after demolishing Man Shitty last week, conceding an injury time goal to lose to their first away game of the season. In contrast, this game saw two milestones for Stoke as they won their first ever game in the Big League, and apparently fielded eleven players all called Faye.  Rory Delap Faye was in the middle of things, being fouled by Martin Laursen at the thirty-fourth attempt to win a penalty which was converted by Liam Lawrence Faye. John Carew scored a fine equalizer after good work from internet onanist Ashley Young, before Ricardo Fuller Faye surprised everyone by showing a touch of the Denis Bergkamps in flicking the ball round a stationary Villa defender to collect it on the other side and fire a low shot past Villa goalkeeper Brad Friedel - after Tugay, possibly the world's second oldest man. Martin Laursen continued his fine goalscoring record, walking past a Stoke City defence that were wandering about like a collection of zombie extras in a George A. Romero film to tap the ball in from about three inches out. Rory Delap Faye's long throws continually troubled a Villa defence that always seemed to be worried about when Gareth Barry would next give the ball away, and it was no surprise when Mamady Sidibe Faye couldn't get his back out of the way of another long throw and it bounced off him and past Freidel's mobility scooter to score the winner.

Fulham 1-0 Arsenal

Little Britain star Matt Lucas was in the crowd for this one, and just like his TV shows there was nothing funny about Arsenal's poor performance. Surprise new signing Mikael Silvestre was not playing but his influence certainly extended to the pitch, as the Gooners looked as sloppy and uncoordinated as a walrus wearing boxing gloves trying to drink a milkshake on a rollercoaster -  Man Utd fans know exactly what I mean. Hair Bear Bullard notched his second assist in as many games, whilst Silky Oon gave such a terrific performance that he even inspired Bobby Zamora to play like an actual footballer. Unfeasibly named centre-back Brede Paulsen Hangeland crept in at a set-piece to stab home the only goal, which took a colossal effort on Arsenal's part not to notice him as Hangeland is about thirteen feet tall. Adebayor continued the season as he started it, playing like he had bovine spongiform encephalopathy and being unable to hit a grain silo with sitar.

Liverpool 2-1 Middlesbrough

Rafa Benitez surprised the Anfield crowd by selecting Dirk Kuyt instead of a footballer, whilst Boro surprised the Anfield crowd by looking much more like the home team for long periods. The Teeside club has handed a massive vote of confidence to Egyptian burger-lover Ahmed Mido by changing their away strip to Inter Milan-like stripes in an attempt to make him look thinner, and this seemed to inspire him enough to score a goal he actually meant this week with a terrific turn and shot. You'd think that the Liverpool defence would actually look less sluggish with Sami Hoopya not playing, but that certainly wasn't the case as Boro looked dangerous up front the whole game. Jamie Carragher sent the unemployed masses in the stands into raptures with a deflected shot in the 86th minute, his fifth goal in five hundred games for the club and a strike rate that both Kuyt and Andriy Voronin would be proud of.  Minutes later the crowd all had to calm down when hubcap-stealer-in-chief Steven Gerrard lashed home a satisfyingly route-one winner deep into stoppage time. Gerrard looked slightly more effective than he did on Wednesday against the Czechs, but frankly that's only the same as saying you'd sooner sleep wth Michelle McManus than Rik Waller.

Spurs 1-2 Sunderland

Whilst it might have worked for Mido, no amount of stripes is going to make Sunderland midfield wildebeest Andy Reid look any less gigantic. That didn't seem to trouble the Wearsiders as they brushed aside a sloppy and unfocused Spurs team. Kieran Richardson scored a terrific opener, smashing a shot past that rarest of objects - a Brazillian international footballer that no-one's ever heard of - with his weaker foot. Gareth Bale showed what an astute judge of players Sir Alex is by missing a host of sitters - thank the Lord United didn't sign him - whilst upfront Darren "broken, not just" Bent toiled unsuccessfully like - well, like Darren Bent. Aaron Lennon wafted a succession of trademark "pinpoint" crosses thirty feet over the heads of his team-mates whilst the poor man's Steven Gerrard, Jermaine Jenas, did whatever it is he does on a Saturday afternoon and still manages to get paid for in scoring the equalizer. Sunderland knew that as long as the Spurs team remained on the pitch a winner wouldn't be long in coming, and sure enough debutant substitute Lord Frodsham couldn't get out of the way of a Darryl Murphy cross and the ball hit his head to register the winner. It was notable that Dimitar Berbatov wasn't even on the bench for this game, leaving Spurs with no recognised strikers and only Darren Bent to pretend he's one. One has to go back the heady days of Bontcho Guentchev for a Bulgarian striker to go missing like this - he regularly did it on the pitch whilst playing for Ipswich. The other noteworthy news is that Diouf now hasn't been booked in two games.

West Brom 1-2 Everton

At the Hawthorns the Boing Boing Baggies Baggies were unlucky to go down to a second straight defeat to an Everton side who weren't particularly good. Worringly for Boing Boing boss Tony Mowbray observers keep saying how unlucky they are to be beaten when they've played so well - if their confidence and form goes, they could be on the wrong end of some proper tonkings. Even more worrying is the current premier league trend for away strips that look like highlighter pens - Wigan last week, Everton this week, Chelsea have one too - but then it's not like anyone expects Chelsea to have any style. By contrast West Brom's strip is very retro - they haven't whored out the space covering their man-boobs to an evil giant corporation like everyone else, so kudos to them. By the way, they're having a car boot sale next week to raise funds for three new players, and all are welcome (it'll be in the church hall if it's raining). Yakubu had a hand in both goals, allowing a defender to disposess him easily only for the defender to give the ball away to Mikel Arteta who crossed for Leon Osman to score. Yakubu then scored his hundredth goal in English football by running in a straight line and bouncing the ball off his head. Roman Bednar scored a penalty consolation after Everton skipper Phil Neville matched his twin sister's skills with the ball in hand - unfortunately he was in his own penalty area at the time, and not playing goal attack like Tracey has for the England netball team at two commonwealth games. By the way, did you know that Gary, Phil and Tracey's dad is called Neville Neville?

Newcastle 1-0 Bolton

Empty seats galore at St. James' Park as 4767 fans came to their senses and didn't bother turning up for this borefest between long-ball merchants Bolton and "big club" Newcastle - that's despite Mike Ashley giving away pre-game free drinks and tickets being available on the day for cash. Seriously, it's bad enough having to watch Newcastle at any time, but if the oppostition is the Ginger Mourinho's route-one specialists, even that grouting starts to look attractive. The game was notable only for the aforementioned Nolan's ineptitude, and little Michael Owen showing Gareth Bale how to score a headed goal from three feet out. Owen came on as substitute for his first appearance ofthe season, replacing Ola Bambi Martins who entered the record books for being the first player in premier league history to be substituted because of boredom.

Blackburn 1-0 Hull City

Hull City continued their impressive pig-headedness by refusing to change their hideous strip. Moreover, they refused to change their unbeaten start by coming from behind to gain a point at Ewood Park and are now a point above Arsenal in the table - oh that we could say that come next May! Jason Roberts scored the opener, being unable to miss despite being Jason Roberts, whilst some Australian called Garcia scored for comeback kings Hull just 90 seconds later. What's up, not good enough to play cricket?